09.08.08
Posted in The Strange at 1:39 pm by Lynne Santiago
Having worked with transgendered people for over 8 years now, and finding them them to be most courageous in their plight for authentic living, hearing about Mr. Beatie was not so strange. But I know, for many, this has got to be a stretch to comprehend. A male pregnant? Big news, right? Question really is, what makes a male male, and a female female?
Is Mr. Beatie truly a male if he still maintained his female reproductive organs? Does a penis define a male, or a vagina define a female? Can we really view Mr. Beatie as a male if he decided to do a ‘female’ thing–become pregnant and give birth the way females do?
Sexuality is more than what set of genitals one has between their legs. For transgendered people, it is a deep, nagging sense within that some terrible mistake was made leaving them with a body that does not match the person inside and the person inside must, at all costs, be expressed. But sexuality is also very ’social’–maybe more so than biological. It is about how others perceive us, treat us and how others expect us to act. These are socially derived.
As I said, I have found transgendered people to be incredible courageous. This is because for them to live their own truth they must contend with a society that holds a conflicting truth. Society is a much stronger force than any one individual. Yet, transgendered people have shown a willingness to swim against the tide, regardless of the concequences. And some, like Mr. Beatie, force society to look at their truth and question it’s validity. The social reality is females have babies, not males. So, though society may be starting to accept that some males want to be females and some females want to be males, acceptance may come along with the expectation that they then do as females do, or as males do. That means if you want to be a male you give up your female ‘role’ to become pregnant, carry it to term, and give birth.
As with any pioneer, anyone who pushes against the rules of society, if their force remains consistent, eventually, society changes.
And what we may view as strange (and some may view as deranged), there may be a time when males having babies becomes a non-question. I’m thinking if this were to happen, no one of an age, reading this blog, will see it. It is still a thing of science fiction. But we are seeing the beginning. Mr. Beatie has just planted a seed that will take generations to germinate and sprout. But it is a seed that thousands of transgendered people are willing to water, feed and nurture, if not for themselves to enjoy, for the generations of transgendered people that will follow.
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09.06.08
Posted in The Deranged... at 7:36 pm by Lynne Santiago
A few years back, some obviously sexually hung up exec in the advertising department of Verizon yellow pages decided that having a Sex Therapy category was too offensive. There had been one. I, along with several other Tampa Bay sex therapists had their ads placed in the specialization section for a few years. I wondered why I was no longer getting calls from people who still let their fingers do the walking over the pages rather then the key board but I just figured the phone book had begun to loss it’s value over the internet. So when it was time to renew I decided to take a look and I didn’t find my ad. I’d been paying $150 per month all along, yet the ad was gone as was the section “Sex Therapy”. With some digging I found my ad under “Pregnancy Counseling”. WHAT?!?!?! How was a man suffering from erectile dysfunction going to find me under pregnancy counseling. I decided to ask. An undoubtedly naive young salesman came to my office to try to convince me that I should keep my ad. When I told him the ad was a waste of my money and that my service was “Sex Therapy” and therefore, needs to be put in a “Sex Therapy” section, he told me “the company thinks sex therapy is too risque”. Then he added “We don’t list escort services either”.
Now you can’t shoot the messenger but I wanted to I was so angry. This guy, a representative of VERIZON YELLOWPAGES, had just told me that Sex Therapy was comparable to Sex Escorts. Now that’s Deranged!!
Needless to say, I don’t do business with Verizon Yellowpages anymore.
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08.29.08
Posted in In the beginning... at 1:01 am by Lynne Santiago
Welcome to my very first blog…and yes, my mother would blush if she knew that I’m actually writing about such a topic as SEX. And I’m sure at some point she will discover my blog and swear that she did not change varying shades of red. Truth is, I don’t think she even tells her friends that I am a sex therapist. As proud as she says she is of me, and she will brag that her daughter is a licensed psychotherapist currently working on a PhD in psychology, with a private practice in Tampa, Florida; I am sure she omits the fact that I am certified as a sex therapist.
Truthfully, I don’t remember thinking “I want to be a sex therapist when I grow up”. I did know what a sex therapist was. I do remember pushing the urge to fall into sleep away, keeping the volume very low, while waiting for Dr. Ruth to come on the radio at midnight…when I was maybe about 13 years old. I remember thinking how “cool” this “old” lady was, and how no matter how much she emphasized being safe, she always emphasized having fun.
So this blog is about many different things. It’s about looking at the ironic spirit of human sexuality. How even something so natural may seem quite strange or deranged when it comes to sex in our society. How, even though we’ve progressed as a society, sex is still such a taboo in so many ways. And finally, this blog will examine things that are considered ‘taboo’ but also illegal.
Now, I am an honest person so I will admit that my doing this blog is about educating, but also about marketing. Yes, I’m not ashamed to say that I hope some who read my blog may want to contact me because they are interested in sex therapy. So I do have bills to pay, just like anyone else. But, what is really so truly great is that I pay my bills doing what I love and when you do what you love you do it well. Get your mind out of the gutter…I’m talking about therapy…. :o)
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